Mom Failing?!

I’m failing my son or at least that’s how I feel after I attended my sons first parent teacher conference today. Oh dear god, I don’t even know where to start! I guess I’ll start with what they started with; I have a loving, polite and kind little boy. Great, right? Yup, but that isn’t anything I didn’t know already. What else did they have to say? That while he is all the above things he also has an extremely hard time focusing. Another thing I was already fully aware of.

I wasn’t aware however though that for the past few weeks my son hasn’t even been attending lessons with the rest of his kindergarten class but has instead been going into another classroom with eleven other students. Why? Apparently he’s behind the other students and needs extra help. Although I was aware that he was a little behind I wasn’t aware that he was behind enough to require him to be put in another classroom. I felt completely blindsided! If this has been happening for a few weeks shouldn’t i have been informed beforehand or weeks ago!

Not only that but they pretty much told me that Hunter wouldn’t be going to first grade next year. Its the tenth of October and you’re already pretty much telling me that my son won’t move into the next grade NEXT YEAR in OCTOBER?! Are you kidding me?! We aren’t even two months into the year! At this point I was holding back tears because even though hes getting the extra help he needs I feel like they are also giving up on him at the same time.

I’m frustrated….beyond frustrated! I want to cry! I feel like I have completely failed my son and that its my fault he is so behind. I haven’t always been able to focus on helping him with the ABC’s or reading to him as much as i want to until this year because I’m finally able to balance my life a little more to where I have the time. So I guess I’m pretty much failing my kid. Ugh. I’m open to any comments, suggestions, advice!

The Upside Of Single Parenting

People always talk aout the down sides of being a single parent and although I’ll admit there are some like having to deal with a parent you may not get along with, financial struggles, child support issues and the genral stress that comes from being a parent. Add on top of all of that the extra stress that comes with being a single parent and you sometimes forget to think about the good because we get so caught up in everything else. Being a single parent doesn’t have to be a bad thing, it doesn’t have to be negative and truthly there are a lot of upsides to being a single parent……

The Upsides Of Being A Single Parent

1. There’s Nobody To Fight With – Okay technically this isn’t completly true but when the other person doesn’t live with you its a lot easier to just put the phone down and turn off all the lights if you don’t want to deal with them.

2. You Get The Final Say – At least where my son is involved this is true. I have sole legal and physically custody of him so desicions regarding his well being are in the end my desicion to make.

3. There’s No “But dad said” – I’m sure everyones dealt with this at least once or twice but I can say that I never have more or less because my son doesn’t have a relationship with his dad. What I say goes….

4. Knowing I did It On My Own – Knowing that I can and am raising an amazing little boy on my own.

5. Being In Control Of My Own Money – There may never be enough but at the end of the month if the money that is supposed to be there isn’t the only one i have to blame is myself!

6. More Quality Time – 

7. I know My Son Better Then Anyone – I’m the one who has been there since day one. I know his likes, his dislikes, the face he makes when he doesn’t feel good and when he’s pulling my leg. I know him better then anyone else.

8. I Get To Decide How He Will Be Raised – And I sure as hell am raising a loving, open and happy little boy.

The thing is I could sit here all night and list the upsides of being a single parent but the truth is I’ve never really looked at it as there being a downside. I’m proud of the mother that I am and I’m even prouder knowing that I can do it on my own. I love my little boy, I love the independence that we share and I can’t imagine life any other way.

Hunters First Time Bowling

On Saturday my sister and I took Hunter bowling for the first time. Its something that I’ve been wanting to do for awhile but haven’t gotten around to. We ended up going to Imperial Lanes which is down the street from my house and has about 32 lanes, an arcade and a restaurant.

Imperial Lanes is very kid friendly it has the side bumpers that come up before a child’s turn, lighter balls for kids to use and these weird contraption things that kids can put the ball on to roll down.

Hunter had an absolute blast bowling. He loved all the different colored balls, seeing the score board light up and getting to bowl all by himself. We ended up bowling two games and when we were finished we decided to head over to the arcade for a bit. I’ve never really been a huge fan of arcades so I would have preferred to skip this but Hunter still had fun!

Garlic Stuffed Pork Loin w/Herb Rub Recipe – Moms Birthday Dinner

Last night was my moms birthday so we invited her and my stepfather over for dinner along with cake. My sister was in charge of making the chocolate cake with dark chocolate frosting and I was in charge of making the meal. I had a hard time deciding what I was going to make and finally settled on a pork loin roast stuffed with garlic and an herb rub. I have to say that the house smelled amazing and it tasted delicious! For those of you who have never cooked a pork loin roast before its a lot easier then you would think!

Garlic Stuffed Pork Loin w/Herb Rub Recipe

Ingredients

Pork Loin Roast

Garlic, cut into small chunks

Garlic, minced or you can use 1 tbsp garlic powder

2 tbsp evoo

2 tbsp Thyme

2 tbsp Basil

2 tbsp Rosemary

1 tsp Sea Salt

1 to 1-1/2 tsp Pepper

Directions

Using a knife cut small slits into pork roast and stuff the small chunks of garlic into it. I prefer to do this on the fatty side and then cover over where I have stuffed it with the fat.

Mix together remaining ingredients and rub over both sides of your roast. I use the oil cause i find that its easier to rub it on if I do.

Place into a roasting pan. Follow directions on back of pork loin packaging for minute per pound ratio and temp.

Along with our pork we also had some boxed mushroom rice that really wasn’t all that great and my yummy Stuffed Portabella Mushrooms. 

Happy Birthday Mom!

Dealing With A Mean Girl

Tonight has been a long night filled with tears and trying to decide between picking up the telephone and calling the cops or picking up the telephone and calling the parents of a fifteen year old girl who has decided to harass my sister online. As you probably recall my sister moved in with me a few weeks back and tonight i found her in her bedroom crying and screaming at her computer.

The girl doing the harassing is a sophomore in high school where we grew up and this is not the first incident she has been involved in where she has been caught posting inappropriate things online. I am not going to say the things that she said about my sister only that she used her full name(my sisters) and that they were posted on her tumblr account. After calming my sister down a bit and sending her off to the neighbors to talk with them for a bit(they’re great listeners) i contemplated calling the child’s parents to inform them of what was happening. Instead I called my older sister who was at a meeting at the school. I ended up sending a note to a good friend who’s husband was a former county cop where the girl lives. I did this to get her advice and greatly appreciate what she had to say.

After talking to a few of my sisters friends I found out that this is not the first incident which the girl has been involved. A young lady who is now fifteen whom i used to babysit was also a victim of this girls online puke parade. I call it a puke parade because everything out of the young women’s mouth is garbage, its vulgar and disgusting. The the other girl who was harassed by her actually printed out what was written about her and brought it to the principal because it was written on a school computer. Apparently it was brought to the girls parents attention and she was spoken too. It must have gone completely over her head because here she is doing it again and not only is she attacking my sister but there is garbage written on her tumblr account about the principal of the school, the other girl and many more.

My issue though is why its continuing to happen after the girls parents have already been told about it? Why are they not checking up on what she is doing online when they know that there is a problem? Do they just not care. This young lady has pictures of herself half naked, references to drug and alcohol use and a lot of references to sexually explicit things that no fifteen year old should be making. Its not only disgusting but disturbing as well. Most parents I know want to know what their kids are doing online and monitor them. Its like this kids parents are in total denial.

As for my sister shes taking the high road and letting it go for now. I know that if we continue to have problems with this that we will more then likely report her but for now we are trying to let it go.

I’m Pretty Sure The Appliances Are Going On Strike

So I’m pretty sure that all the appliances in the house have decide to permanently go on strike. Two days ago the fridge decided that it wanted to start leaking water out of it, not just a little leak a BIG leak. Then the next day the washing machine decided that it no longer wanted to agitate or whatever its called when it spins the clothes around and makes them all pretty and shiny. Today Hunter closed the door to the microwave and it broke. Seriously I’m afraid to touch the coffee maker or the toaster or the stove at this point out of fear that they will also decide to die/malfunction/shitthebed. I must have bad karma or something. Honestly though the fridge is from like 1985 so i cant really blame it for deciding that it no longer wants to be a functioning member of this household. Have you ever had one of those weeks where it seems like everything around you just starts breaking? Well I’m off to find the remote to the TV lets cross our fingers and hope that it doesn’t blow up.

Enough is Enough Already

This past weekend I had to make a decision that not only affected my own life but Hunters as well. I guess that every decision I make does that but to me this one feels a lot different. I decided that it was finally time to walk away from someone that i have considered to be one of my best friends for the past two years. Closing the door on our friendship not only means closing the door on ours but also on my sons friendship with her daughter. This was an extremely hard decision for me to make but one that I’ve known deep down for awhile that i would eventually have to make.
I wish i could explain to you guys why but i still can’t quiet wrap my head around the correct words that would allow you to understand. Let me just say that there has been a lot that has happened that has led me to the point where i am at today. You may recall the post i wrote recently about my experience with grocery shopping and i will say that the young girl i spoke of in that post is the women’s daughter. I want to say that as much as i love the little girl and her mother that i also have come to realize that her actions and her mothers actions aren’t getting any better and that when I’m around them i feel like there is always drama. Drama isn’t something i have room for in my life. I don’t have time for it, i barely get to see my son these days and what little time i do have with him i refuse to allow it to be filled with drama. I refuse to be yelled at for taking my son to the playground, because i can’t pick someone up every time they need a ride from work. I refuse to be talked back to by a five year old child that doesn’t belong to me or have her mother allow her to scream at me in the background ever again. I won’t tolerate someones child bullying my son right in front of their parent and their parent not doing anything or watching that same child punch their mother and her mother ignore her.
I’m not the perfect parent, I’m not the perfect person but I’ve realized the past few weeks that there are things that i don’t have to tolerate if i don’t want to. i don’t have to allow people in my life unless i really feel that they belong and bring with them more positive then they do negative.

Just The Two Of Us + 1 = 3?

Tomorrow my little(right!) baby sister is moving in with us! Its been in the works since a few days after Christmas last year but now after nearly a week of traveling with my mother and stepfather(poor her) from Maine to Florida it is FINALLY happening. She should be here sometime in the afternoon tomorrow and Hunter couldn’t be more excited. Me? How am I feeling? I’m a bit mixed up at the moment because its my sister and I love her to death and I know that its not only what she needs to do but it will also make my life a little easier. At the same time ITS MY SISTER and as most of you know sisters tend to squabble. BIG TIME! Plus we haven’t lived together since she was nine(she was raised by our oldest sister) and that was eleven years ago! Yikes.
So just to let you know that Just The Two of Us now has a plus one. I’m not really sure how she’ll fit into our little blogging world or even if she’ll want anything to do with it but that’s whats going on in our neck of the woods!

When I Look Back…..

When I look back on my childhood I really begin to wonder how on earth I lived to talk about it. Lets just say the kids in my neighborhood walked a little on the wild side. The twelve of us were the “cool” kids located on Upper Main Street whose houses were all directly in a row and we could usually be found either out back in the “Forest” behind us building tree forts that compared in size to small houses or laying in the middle of the street as traffic swerved around us(just kidding).We road our bikes without helmets(granted we weren’t allowed past the church but that’s a story for another day), jumped off bridges, rolled in poison ivy, carved our names in trees and shot BB guns(sometimes at each other). We were rarely supervised in our tweens(and we definitely didn’t use that word) we pretty much spent our days roaming the woods and one another’s houses. At times we were like The Little Rascal’s minus all that he man women hater stuff. When you took away the boys you got left with a group of girls that acted a lot like the girls in Now and Then. We loved Ouija board and hanging out in graveyards, riding our bikes late at night and seeing who could spook the heck out of the others more.

If you set aside the fact that we enjoyed shooting one another another with sling shots, throwing golf balls  and occasionally having a full on fist fight we weren’t bad kids. Yeah there was a time for awhile that we had to have a bus stop monitor(and a window watch) but all it really boiled down to was that we really enjoyed adventure and making one another’s lives interesting.

When I look back on my childhood I can laugh pretty hard at the memories that we made no matter how crazy some of them were! Its not every day that you see jumping snakes, play in the swamp, can go sledding on a golf course or jump off a bridge. As kids you can’t always find the friends that are willing to go through an entire five pack of Maxwell cassette tapes with you making your own radio show or watching you do gymnastics for hours on end(really how many times can they judge your perfect cartwheel). You don’t always find the friends that you can lay out under the stars with and watch as the satellites do circles above you or the friends you can play truth or dare with that know you so well and you know so well that neither of you ever has to say truth instead they dare you to kiss their gross brother instead.

 My childhood was for the most part happy, it was full of memories and great friends and I can only hope that someday when my son is older he can look back on his own childhood and say the same thing. Heaven forbid if I ever catch him laying in the middle of the street or shooting anyone with a BB gun……

They Destroyed It Yet Again!

Last night Hunter had his friend sleep over and yet again this morning they DESTROYED his bedroom. Not only did they take out every single toy, rip paper to shreds and leave it all over the place but in the time it took me to take a shower they decided to open SIX packages of cookies along with one big package of cookies and take every last one out. That’s like sixty cookies! I was irate! They even managed to rip all the blankets off the bed yet again and remove half the clothes from the dressers! Hunters friends idea of cleaning up was standing in the doorway saying over and over “I’ll vacuum”. OMG, what are you going to do vacuum up all the toys and stuff in the process?! Why do kids insist on doing this?! I just don’t get it! Ahh!